Top Ten Best Pick-up Lines to Use in the Health Department Waiting Room

As single men, we all know there are some locations that are not conducive to meeting quality women. Or we should know better than try to meet women at certain spots. Of course “knowing better” depends on a wide variety of factors such as: time of day, the amount of alcohol consumed, prescribed medications that regulate serotonin levels and in many cases, our degree of desperation. As a ongoing public service announcement we are going to list locations that a single man should never attempt to speak/flirt/or pick-up a woman. However, if certain circumstances arise that you feel it’s an absolute must, we have provided some “top ten’s” that pertain to your particular circumstance.

The Health Department Waiting Room

We’ve all been there before. Already nervous and contemplating our life choices, you are in a weakened state. What could be better than to find someone who shares your burden, who can empathize and who . . . can feel your pain? If you were thinking clearly, you would realize, this is another “life choice” that got you here in the first place. At the very least, you should wait until your results come back . . . on the other hand, we’re already here and there’s no time like the present.

Top Ten Best Pick-up Lines to Use in the Health Department Waiting Room

10. Are those your only track marks, or are you hiding some really sexy ones underneath?

9. What do you say, let’s ditch these squares and go hangout with Jimmy Swaggart.

8. They’ve got to be cold sores because you’re giving me a fever.

7. They call me “The Leaky Pipe.”

6. Check out all these lotto tickets.

5. Clap on, clap off.

4. I loved you on America’s Most Wanted.

3. Silly me, that’s not my driver’s license. That’s just my work release papers.

2. I drive a Ford Escort.

1. Chlamydia Shlamydia. Mars Explore Further How_to_be_a_Baller_not_a_Crawler


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Paxton Grace – Co-editor and Writer for I Left Mars for This?! Paxton has been described as a “Casanova off his meds”, which makes for an interesting social life . . . and a very entertaining writer.

Written by: Paxton Grace

I Left Mars For This?!

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