Less than six months ago, I started an online dating consulting business and since have acquired 150 new male clients. Suffice to say, I have learned a lot about men – all types of men – in a very short time. There is, however, something that has remained consistent throughout: the lack of female exposure for guys working in male dominated careers. You know, “nerd” stuff: Computer Science, Engineering, and Technology. Furthermore, these jobs are usually very demanding and offer little room for free time.
The thing that I find the most ironic is that these men have consistently proven themselves to be quite intelligent, nice, successful, and attractive to at least a passable degree. Thus, I have come to the conclusion that there is absolutely no reason for these guys to be so unsuccessful at dating.
So, I have come up with some tips for all the men out trapped in a corporate sausage-fest.
It is crucial for men who have little free time to engage in activities with multiple purposes in order to maximize the small amounts that they do have. Take fitness, for example:
Don’t: work out at home or do isolating activities such as running on a treadmill at a gym with no social benefit.
Do: be a regular in a group class. In doing so, you will be getting a great workout while putting yourself out there to meet new people. If you want to get even more serious about it, try something like yoga, Pilates, or cycling, as these types of fitness are very much female dominated (you will be the token male).
II. Online Dating
I know this is sort of a “duh” suggestion but it is the manner in which you choose to present yourself that is not completely obvious. For guys who may have forgotten what a living, breathing female looks like in the flesh, putting together a successful online dating profile can be a fairly daunting task. In
creating your online dating profile, remember who your audience is. Have a purpose in everything you say; don’t just post photos for the sake of posting photos. Curate your image gallery and narrow it down to only the very best. In terms of content, make yourself appear confident, optimistic, and relatable. Every message, sentence, and image should fulfill the single purpose of enhancing your overall presentation of yourself. If you cannot think of a clear reason why something adds interest to your profile, eliminate it. We live in a world of instant satisfaction and minimal attention spans: the more effort someone it takes to sort through the clutter to get to the good stuff, the more likely they are to not bother and move on.
III. Be Creative
This is trying new activities such as getting involved in your local community. Similar to a job you may not initially be crazy about, the reason you end up enjoying it is because of the people. If you want to stick to what you something you know you like to do think about what your hobbies are then find a way to apply it to getting involved in some type of active community, group, club, charity, team, religious community (if relevant), etc.
IV. Conversation Pieces
Conversation pieces are a man’s best excuse; they serve as an intermediary between you and attractive female strangers. Another great thing about conversation pieces are that they accommodate all types of lifestyles: for those seeking a more permanent fix, there is nothing better than a good-looking guy with an adorable dog. For men who prefer to avoid commitment, something as simple as a witty t-shirt works just as well. On the flip side, men can also use this concept to approach woman: if a guy approaches a woman he does not know, focusing on a conversation piece makes him appear to her as if he has a genuine interest in something aside from how she might look naked. Even though we all know the real reason, conversation pieces make our shallow (and sometimes a little perverted) motivations for talking to an attractive stranger socially acceptable.
Tessa began her career as a dating coach and image consultant less than six months ago and has already helped over 150 new clients. Originally from Los Angeles, she has been living in NYC for the past six years (minus a year in Italy somewhere in between). Tessa earned her BA in Philosophy and Visual Arts in 2013 and since then has worked in an array of fields ranging from selling Teslas, to hosting nightlife tours, to ambushing doormen in the name of local news. Regardless of the specifics of each job, they all consistently have had a strong emphasis on personal interaction and strategic presentation whether it be in a written, verbal, or visual sense. Currently, Tessa is in the process of expanding her dating and image consultant business to meet the growing demand of her expertise.