Weird title to an article I know.
But there is no pun or double meaning.
I think sometimes men might be intimidated or damn near scared shitless to talk to or approach a woman that they are attracted to. Since I’m not a man I would know personally why the fear is so big, but from what I’ve been told from some of my male friends and females is that the fear of rejection is so great that some men will only admire there object of desire from afar for years, maybe even a lifetime. I’ve actually never experienced this in my life until recently and am extremely confused and amused all at the same time. Most of my life I’ve always been approached by semi to extremely aggressive damn near over confident men, which honestly is not always the best approach because it comes off as too pushy and desperate at time…..there’s is a fine line and balance that few men have mastered….LOL.
With that being said, I don’t really know how to respond to, although I find it cute and refreshing from the norm, a more timid/hesitant man. Beyond flirting in person and online and him asking all the usual predating questions (are you married, dating anyone, any kids), and telling me he is physically attracted to me and has been for years he is scared shitless to take the next step to actually ask me out. This experience made me think about fear and rejection and what this does to a mans ego and self esteem if he is rejected. As a woman I want to share a few tips to help men ease there fears and take a chance with their dream woman without jumping off the highest bridge even if she isn’t interested.
Tip 1: We don’t bite
When a man approaches us in a respectful and polite manner as opposed to aggressive and arrogant, it will typically always be met with a smile and a “I’m so flattered” response. If you both frequent the same locations(gym, clubs, bookstores..etc.) or work together you should already be able to gauge her temperament based on how she deals with others or how she interacts with you. If a woman is approached with respect I guarantee, even if she isn’t interested in your advances, she won’t humiliate or publicly shame you in front of others. In my case, I never knew he was interested for years until recently and his approach was so polite and respectful that I had the “I’m so flattered” response. Which in turn peaked my curiosity……meaning if he wants me to bite I will 😉 Follow through with your initial approach because you never know what it may lead to.
Tip 2: Show/Have Confidence
Although I think many of us like the sensitive shy man longing from us from afar, we really like the confident man who isn’t too afraid to ask for what he wants! Its a huge turn on for a man to go after what he wants and make decisions Most women don’t like having lead, meaning we have to ask the man out or for his number, initiate all conversations, select all the locations for dates…..basically WE DONT LIKE DOORMATS!! Just because she is your dream woman don’t be afraid to speak your mind and even say no! If a man doesn’t show confidence on a regular basis, as a woman we are already imagining that there will be no confidence in the bedroom, and at that point you can pretty count her out!
Tip 3: Don’t Assume
A lot of men make the mistake of assuming that they might not be her “type” not ever even having a clue of what her type might be. Even if you do know who her typical type is you never know if she might want to try someone COMPLETELY different…..don’t assume! And definitely do not assume that all women are looking to be in a serious relationship, there are many women that want just a casual/sexual relationship….nothing more, which might be right up your alley, but you will never know if you assume she’s ready to walk down the aisle. As you know woman are complicated and you never know what we might be thinking…..assuming could make you miss landing the woman of your dreams.
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Kyra Marie is a ACE certified personal trainer and has implemented several life and body transformation programs to a diverse population in the Birmingham area. Her love of fitness led her to set a goal for herself by becoming an NPC and SNBF bikini competitor starting in 2009. Before becoming a personal trainer she attended and graduated(1999) from Auburn University Magna Cum Laude with a B.S. in Human Development and Family Studies and later worked as a case worker serving therapeutic foster children with a United Way non profit organization. After being accepted to the University of Alabama MSW Masters program she decided to make a drastic career change and pursue a life long dream of being a cosmetologist. In 2001 she attended and graduated from Lawson State Community College with a Cosmetology license. She has worked in the hair and beauty industry for 14 years and is currently a licensed managing cosmetologist and owner of K. Marie Hair Studio. She has a sincere passion to help and empower women….”the most beautiful thing a woman can wear is confidence.” I Don't Bite…..Unless You Want Me To! Click To Tweet