10. I’ll stop comparing everything that happens at the office to Game of Thrones.
9. I will no longer insist that fantasy football is a valid form of exercise.
8. I’m going to read more novels and less Youtube comments.
7. I’m going to stop arguing with those dumb $#!@bags on Youtube.
6. This year, I will refrain from hitting on every woman I meet at a bar . . . one night a month . . . after New Year’s Eve.
5. I’ll stop dedicating so much time honing my skills in dramatic monologues to pursue a career in the Adult Entertainment Industry and concentrate on something more practical.
4. I’m going to start my memoir Clean, Sober and Monogamous: A Two Week Journey
3. I’ll stop calling it “raging against the system” when I purchase regular food but hit the organic food button at the grocery store’s self check-out machine.
2. I will no longer call anything with the word bomb in the title “a gentleman’s cocktail.”
1. I’m going to better myself, and have fun doing it, by subscribing to the FREE I Left Mars For This?! Newsletter (see below). Not only is this a sign that I am desirable to the hottest women but that I am also highly intelligent and self-motivating.
Paxton Grace – Co-editor and Writer for I Left Mars for This?! Paxton has been described as a “Casanova off his meds”, which makes for an interesting social life . . . and a very entertaining writer.